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Sunday, February 8, 2015

God, the White Man.

... I'm in church, (disclaimer: I'm a Christian). We are ringing praise and worshipping God as we do every week , and as we have been led to do for a very long time. Then the worship leader puts up a song slide, and the pictorial on the slide is disconcerting to me - it's a black God in clouds looking down  with his muscular arms and black flowing  beard. His splendid red garment flows with majesty and he looks really 'God-like'. Problem is, I'm snapped out of my worship mode... I can't seem to worship anymore, but look at the picture!? I soon enough realise the reason- the God in my head and my imaginations is different from the one the picture is presenting to me, and somehow my subconscious is taking notice- cognitive dissonance or something of the sort -  the God I've been led to worship and praise; the God I see everywhere and everyday - in books, Bibles, movies, stories as a child etc,  is White! More particularly, White-caucasian, not middle eastern or northern African! No,  just white!
Do this  small experiment with me; close your eyes... Now think of God the father - not Jesus. Who do u see? Now try imagining him in a different hue. Not much luck I guess . 
I've always known and felt this influence of white over black all around me in the signs and symbols used everywhere -  purity in white over black sin , black devil and white-light God and angels. I understand how that has coloured a lot of our worlds' ( and my) perception of blackness. I just never realized  how it had  affected me even in the most intimate and decidedly personal moments like worshipping God.
I don't know what to do with this anymore. I find myself trying to imagine a black or brown God now, every time I try to worship . This is getting quite distracting.,. I wish for the days gone by when I was less conflicted ; when I could worship my God the white man without second guessing which image of him is appropriate and why I couldn't imagine him black or brown. I'm conflicted. I know it shouldn't matter what colour God is, and His presence is all encompassing, and the only thing I need, but I have an active imagination!.
I'm not throwing any blame at history - it is what it is; I'm worried this same thing might be happening to many other people and limiting their experience of God. I'm worried new Christians and younger minds will get to where I am and be unable to manage the conflict between  God imagery that look more like like Bob Marley than Micheal Bolton.
I hope it doesn't make them question their faith- I'm not questioning my mine either; I'm just afraid that other people will react differently to this than I do. 
I pray your worship stays even if your images conflict .
I have come to realise that my issue is not even the fact that my God is white ; it is that every other imagination of him in a different colour feels inappropriate.! 
I need suggestions ... I want my worship back. 


SoP - February 2015.

Monday, January 30, 2012

I am Number 4


I figured I will be the last one carrying many rhymes and wise twists from him to You
I was hoping I would not just be one of the many, many ways he tries to show you how much he cares.
I am sure you have seen quite a couple like me, and know in so many words what he thinks of you.
I was just hoping I would be different, and it turns out, I am!

This guy loves you, don’t ever get it twisted! He sits at work and just writes all these crazy   things about you, to you.
He goes back home and cannot wait to talk to you. He sees your face and immediately goes into caring and sexy mode.
This guy loves you – he has written all kinds of poems for you. I think if I were you, I will really love him too. I hope you do! And I think he knows that too.
This guy loves you - because no matter who is  around - friends or family - he almost always seems to  think, and find ways to talk, about you.

I am number 4.
I know I am the last, and I know I am supposed to be more than all the others, but I just simply can’t.
I , as number 4, decided to tell you in the most plain of languages that he thinks the world of you, writes of you, talks of you, and always wants you – your mind AND body.
He knows you pain, sees your fears, and hears the things you don’t say. He wants you, wants to protect you, wants to be your man, and hopes you will be his woman.

I sometimes hope I wasn’t the page, but the person, to whom he wrote. 'Cos the words he types sometimes makes me wanna tear (no pun intended).
Thing is, he never really tried too much , as he wrote Number 1, 2 and 3. But in writing me, he did struggle quite some.
I wondered why, but I realized it was because for once, he was just trying to be as  real as possible.
He realized it was far easier to write in rhyming couplets and quintuplets,  than to adequately give utterance to his myriad  of  feelings.
He found that he loved you a little more than his large array of words could try to articulate.

So here I am: Number 4. 
Written with no rhyme, as his love letter to you. Just so you will know, that all he wants to say is ‘I love you’.
I was hoping I will be the last of such writings to you but, who am I kidding?
I know he will write again someday; I know he will always try to tell you those feelings in more ways than one.
But all in all, I know he loves you like he never loved before… So please keep me really close to you, ‘cos I think I was the most authentic of them all.  
Number 4.

SOP - December 2011

… And Then There Is You


I thought and really seemed now to have figured it all.
The good, the bad, the ugly; did previous love stall
Maybe my brand of love, just wasn’t ever real afterall
A break and change of place could help me make  better calls.


And there was you
With all your brightness, your sweetness
And then there was you
With charm unarming, unsettling
And then there was you.
Your being, your warmness, your presence
And then there was you
A friend, a lover, my cover.


I try to find a thousand ways to show you I care
To tell you what you mean to me, to show what I’ll share
I’ll try to keep you safe from harm, and fight all those who’ll dare
To bring more pain to one so fair, who’s seen her fair share.

But then there is you
With all your prowess, your braveness
And then there is you
Through much attrition, opposition
And yet there is you
With hope eternal, joy external
And still there is you
With such compassion; lively passion.

Its real to have you
My very own girl, my head swirls!
Its nice to have you
For stimulation, inspiration
I’m glad there is you
To light my fire, raise my desire.
I hope to have you
My love-brand mirrored, and recovered.

There are many girls, for a thousand miles
...And then, there is YOU.

SOP - November 2011

Trickles Night


Thin raindrops spattering slowly on the car, the window
My heart starts racing as my every pace, still stay slows
Such gentle music with a sultry voice, is played slow
With giddy nerves to bear as pent-up love, starts to flow.


Her beauty and her being just left me kind of, breathless
A star-less night we had, but such a bond, so stress less
Her lips and hands so soft, ‘Oh Lord my God, can’t take this!’
Her calm assurance tells me, I’m her man, Her Prince, YES!


A look into her eyes and there I knew, no question
She surely was the One, no time for pause, reflection
A clarity so deep, a time for real, connection
The quivering of our lips betrays the dual, reaction.


I stare into her eyes, her tender love, she gives me
I kiss her tender lips as all my calm, evades me
A silence and a bliss, our sacred moment, stumps me.
I still can’t find the words to carve it out, in history.


I only pray the girl I met that night, comes to stay
‘Cos love like that just never stops, just doesn’t, fades away
If ever she should go, if ever love, were to stray
I’ll know on ‘Trickles Night’, I had my very, own fairytale.

SOP - September 2011

My Woman


My woman

Amazing,
Spellbinding,
Transfixing,
My baby.

Erotic,
Exotic,
Acrobatic,
My vixen.

Resilient,
Expedient,
Proficient,
My lady.

Caring,
All-bearing,
Real blessing,
My gurl.

Expressive,
Seductive,
Assertive,
My woman.

Sensual,
Sexual,
Visual,
My love.

Intellectual,
Sentimental,
Individual,
My contemporary.

Courageous,
Curvaceous,
Bodaceous,
My friend.

Devoted,
Accomplished,
Adored,
My star.

My lady, my lover, my  Woman.


SOP - June 2011

The Good, the Bad and the Very Ugly

I contend that you cannot forgive sincerely if you do not acknowledge completely. And by completely, I mean the good, the bad and the very  ugly of the relationship you both shared. It might be a relationship with family, friend or lover.I think we all have the bad and ugly well taken care of, so this piece actually points towards how much we miss out in our forgiveness when we ignore the good in those who couldnt stay.

People come into our lives for a reason, and sometimes, those who come in , can't stay forever. Most of them end with hurt and or disappointment, but some of them just run their normal course. Nonetheless, the way and pace we move forward from any relationship depends on how we decide to acknowledge what those people ever came into our lives for in the first place.
I do not believe in happenstance. I believe every single person you have the privilege of meeting contributes something to your life. Some make you feel loved and appreciated and give the wind under your wings. Others make you know you ' ain't all that' , and keep you humble and striving to improve.
For those who left you with some hurt, for those who are not there now, I am pretty sure there is something about them that made you draw close to them in the first place. It might have turned out all wrong and they became what you didn't like. Stuff happens. They leave! And the only way you feel sometimes you can deal with them is by demonizing every single part of who they ever were to you. The only way you can justify the rejection or disappointment is by pointing out to yourself and sometime others, how bad those who couldn't stay must have been. They couldn't be that good and then left you. They couldn't have anything nice about them and then disappointed you the way they did.
I get it. We like to get even. but even as you say that to other people, and even as you repeat it as many times to yourself so that you will believe it, you do know it is not totally true. That person, though he left might have had a way of making you smile. That person even as they hurt you in the end, might have taught you how to drive a bike, or use a phone. That person even though they hurt you were honestly loving , caring and considerate most times. If you look close enough, you will see the very things that made them useful in your life at the point in time.
I believe that only when we do this, can we fully acknowledge and move on. We can either demonize and push it far down and try to forget, but if ever you meet that person, all those emotions come running back. But I think if in the process of forgiving , you also identify the good he/she brought to your life, you tend to see them as flawed people , not flawed demons. It ensures an honest assessment of them, vi-a-vis your life with them, and helps in the healing by leveraging the hurt.  The one thing about hurt and forgiveness is the power both of them have ; one to ensnare, the other to liberate. And there is no forgiveness without honesty to oneself.
So to those who couldn't stay, acknowledge their good, even only to yourself , as you go through your process of forgiveness. Only then will you ever truly forgive, only then will you ever fully let them go by realizing that however it ended, there is something positive they did for u at some point in time, even if it was just that one time they made u smile.
Try it. I aint saying its easy, but I am saying it is worth it.  If you are in the process of forgiving, find a good thing for those who couldn't stay in your life. It will do a lot of good in knowing you were not all mistaken or fooled. There was some good anyway, even if it didn't end the way you wanted. And that can help you let go.
People come into our lives for a reason. The only way we can really let them go is by accepting all those reasons : the good , the bad, and the ugly.
Remember; forgiveness is all about you , and not really about the other person.


God bless.
EAU - Oct 2011

The Repatriate Generation : A way forward!

I am not a patriot!
At least, not in the ‘sing your anthem, be proud of your country, wave your flag’ sort of way. My country is one of the reasons I left where I was born. It seems to be the problem and not the solution. The structure, and endemic lack of the opportunity to live free and fair, and make a living off your own sweat, was never an option for me in the Republic. Come to think of it, I am an angry person. 'Cos that same dysfunctional Republic made me leave the things I love, the places that made me tick, my very own culture and society and way of being. That is what I am: A sum total of my beliefs, culture, community and my race. My country made me forsake this in order to pursue a good life, and for that I am not a patriot, because patriotism could have cost me and my family, our livelihood, and in return we would have endured, favoritism, nepotism, and all the corruption and decadence that comes with absolute power.

I love my country.
Its sights and sounds, its people and perspectives; its morals and virtues, its culture and combinations. I couldn’t fully live anywhere else if I had the option. The infectious music and the sometimes chaotic order in disorder which has a way of making me smile; the genuine smiles from its people and the palpable sense of community. The joie de vivre, and the quest for God and good. I miss the authenticity of the happiness, which is not born out of the presence of material amenities, but from the hearts of a people living and enjoying what blessings they can find. The realization that joy is not a function of the material but of the existential. A people with an infectious and persistent hopefulness, which in itself makes your heart melt. A cuisine so intricate and delicious, it takes some commitment to prepare. A community always willing to give a hand, always there to rejoice and cry with you. Our passion for football and sports, our uniqueness in fashion and design, and our unbelievable variety and quality in song and dance.

I want to go home.
I know home is where you make it. I know home has become to many of the diaspora, where they have made their bed and gained their bread, just like me. I know home has become the friends and people in your neighbourhood in whichever part of the world you live in. But I also know you know what I mean when I say I want to go home. To a non-negligible number of the diaspora, home is where the heart is – Africa. Home is where you feel like you have a right to be there, in spite of everything else. A feeling which is hard to replicate even with all the documentation and amassing of passports; a feeling where for once you don’t feel like you are second-class or need any excuses to be there! That feeling is palpable to most of us in the diaspora, even when we do not admit it to ourselves. Home is where you can lay claim to that heritage and that identity where God himself  assigned you. Home is where your heart still aches to see change and to effect change – the change which you have seen and experienced and come to appreciate wherever you are or might have been.
But how can I go home?  How can I effect change? What can I do to make home what I want it to be? If you are or have asked yourself any one of these questions, then you are one of many in an increasingly vocal and prominent band of Africans, which Wall Street calls the ‘repatriate generation’ of Africa. Many of whom have made their bread and lives out in the West but still have this longing of home, and even better, a longing for bringing what they possess and have learnt, to a continent and a country they love dearly. A set of people who excel at their trades and their areas of learning, and are looking for opportunities to make their rich heritage shine; an elite group of intelligent and sophisticated people who are just plain tired of the Western depictions of a desolate continent, and just impatient with the corrupt demagogues who have ruled and ruined the continent for us. A non-negligible majority who now know their worth, and can see the worth of their continent and their people. People bursting with ideas in business, art, fashion, science and technology. People who have acquired, and want to give back, to deliver and innovate, but are still faced with the apprehensions and frustrations of a continent with painfully slow progress in progressive policy and economics. Who still have the questions of; is it worth the hassle?  How do I affect the change I really seek with the reality on the ground? Will I succeed? How do I leave all this comfort and livelihood for that?  The thing about the answer to those questions is that they are personal, simple and complex at the same time. But I think you can answer each of them in the affirmative, if like me, you really have a burning desire to see things progress. The question real question is, ‘how to I do it? Where do I start?’.

Cooperate. Appreciate. Delegate.
Most of your brilliant business ideas and ways of making a difference in your country will invariably meet with one of two major snags : lack of sufficient capital and governmental bottlenecks (corruption being just one of them). These are the things that have held us back, and our failed relationship with the West - of aid and trade (more ‘aid and Take’ if you ask me) has only exacerbated our inherent dependency on ‘someone else’ to do it for us. But not this generation! We can see through the farce and demand more trade and less aid. But we need to start from somewhere. We need to start it before those whom we left behind can follow. One major advantage we have over our brothers and sisters who never left the continent, but decided to stay and make it work, is the benefit of  a different perspective; a deeper appreciation for the commensurate fruits of hard work, and a doctrine of doing what it takes to survive or reach a goal (we all have done A LOT of this at some point in time out here). These are the intangibles, which, if combined with our love for the continent, can make a major difference in how we apply ourselves in giving back to our country and continent. So what to do ?

Cooperate. Band together. Find people in social media who have the same aspirations and ideas as you do. Join to create a fashion brand, a tech company, a business consultancy, a transport business, something! Encouragement, and sharing of ideas can turn thought into action. Cooperation can also help with the idea of capital. Many people with a fashion idea will be able to kick off an idea if they could contribute both ideas and capital to the cause. Raising capital by cooperation can bypass our lack of loan and funding institutions, even if it only means getting projects off the ground.

Appreciate. There is nothing better than having a fellow African appreciate something you try to do in the continent, either by just dropping a congratulatory note, or by actually consuming the services or goods you provide. And I am not saying support ideas for the sake of it being from an African  - No. Support those ideas of quality and promise, which are worth supporting.  Champion concepts and businesses of the quality we can all be proud of – music, fashion, technology, agriculture etc. We are our best ambassadors - period. So, we are given a once in a lifetime opportunity here to carve out the image of the continent which we think rightly represents us, by supporting those ventures whose authenticity and quality we approve and can be proud of. We can be our best publicists to the budding businesses and artistic creations of our peers by spreading the word for them, of them. We can help by becoming a consumer-promoter, even if you are not the part of the conceptualization. Be it trustworthy African money transfer agencies, or banks, fashion houses or artists, technology providers and the like. Look around you, there are already many of these ideas and businesses coming up. Do your part and see them grow into genuine businesses and economic forces in your country, on the continent and internationally.

Delegate. We are all not made of the same elk. We can all not take the big risk or jump into the unknown of going back or even of running a business. But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We can work with, encourage, and delegate  to those who can, or are already in the process. We know friends and classmates who are willing to go start a business for which we can provide the initial finances by remaining in our present jobs. Do it! We can buy shares in promising companies, or promote artists without having to presently leave what we presently do. We can put brothers and sisters back home to work, working with other people with sound business acumen on a business  (I really am not a champion for family businesses – too many complications with accountability).  The core idea here being that we have no excuse not to contribute one way or the other, as there are options available to us all, whatever your situation may be.

I have steered clear of politics as a medium for change in diaspora circles, not because it is not a worthy cause, but because of my intrinsic belief that to champion the politics of a people, one has to be willing to be WITH the people. I find it hard to belief you can feel how hot a boiling pot is, from the safe observatory point of the cool table top. I do not believe in political change by proxy. But economics, in such a global world, can be a force of change no matter your global location. To those engaged in the quest for political change, it is a worthy cause and I commend your efforts. I believe a change in political environment and will, is the single most important way of changing a people's circumstance and accelerating them towards a prosperous nation. I do however strongly contend that our route to an improved and changed Africa lies in economic emancipation, compared to politics. The former lends itself to industrious and entrepreneurial people who have the control of what it takes to effect such change inspite the political circumstances - like most of us. The latter has too many factors out of the control of those who really want to see change, and hence is less promising, less tangible, and sees too many capable people staying on the sidelines and hoping for change

I am convinced we of the repatriate generation can continue to build this momentum of change and emancipation as we not only return to where our hearts are, but we take part in its transformation. We will also bring back a little of who we have become to Africa, so that it becomes an even better place for us all, representing us in the appropriate way, and competing at the level and potential which we all know it can.
There is a lot to be changed, and a lot of change this generation can bring. But i contend that economic change is the place to start.

SoP- September 2011
@34000 ft.