Race - Ramblings of a Racism neophyte. Part I

Race!

I have tried to avoid writing about this otherwise very complex and convoluted human-made issue. Probably because i feel both equipped yet inadequate in writing about it. I worry I dont know enough or haven't experienced enough to say much, but then can't keep quiet given all that  I actually have seen and been through.  It paints quite a sad picture of humans as a species that a difference in melanin concentration can be this deep and divisive, but again, I digress.
From slavery to colonialism to native american and asian clan purges, its ubiquitous presence in every aspect of human interaction makes it something you cannot avoid no matter your best efforts - especially if you are black. An issue that stares you smack in the face almost on a daily basis, particularly in the West.  Given the spate of shootings and institutionalised racism on display, sometimes I want to blame technology for putting these instances in our faces and possibly magnifying the problem,  but then I realise technology can't capture what doesn't already exist. One instance of racism, one racially motivated death or injustice, is still one too many.

 It is just melanin folks; melanin!! Yet again, I digress.

And let us just get this out of the way, for those who might want to start an argument; science has proven without any room for doubt that there is invariably NO genetic differences between the races - NONE. Whew! Now that I got that off my chest and out of the conversation, let us proceed!

 My musings won't attempt any kind of nuanced or academic analysis of racism, as many people much better placed than myself have expounded and pontificated ad nauseam. I fear my voice only gets lost in the whole vindictive debate, and suffocates in the accusations and counter-accusations which only exacerbate the problem. I talk from an intentionally narrow & personal platform; from the perspective of a non-African-American African in America (N4A).

Full disclosure: I am black - Cameroonian, Black, and African to be precise, and in that order. Proud and happy to have been so all my life, and hoping I stay so till I die ( I aint about to do a Micheal Jackson anytime soon). But paradoxically, the mere fact that I proudly identify myself as black already makes me a willful participant in this unfortunate paradigm - it is what it is! I have always held that difference and diversity are intrinsic to God's earth and should be celebrated. I am a fiercely proud black man, and hold no ill will towards others who are proud people of their races. The issue with race as I see it, is not with self-determination  but with using race as a basis for comparison contrast, and prejudice projection.I  contend that identity is a good thing for it tells us who we are, and gives us a sense of belonging. But what I think is wrong with the quest for identity is the latter part of that statement; when our quest for identity and society overshadows our humanity, our empathy and our common sense. From such arise all kinds of negatives and mayhem.

I am new to racism, even though I have known about it my whole life.

 Let me explain.
 As an African, I only experienced racism in my adult life after leaving The Continent for education and socioeconomic advancement. I had read about  racism and watched 'Roots' of course, but it didn't affect my reality and or my outlook. Racism didn't shape my self-determination (say, in the way tribalism, nepotism and colonialism did - but again, that is a different discussion). I am a firm believer in the idea that knowing, and experiencing, are two very different things, and you really cannot know a social issue, until you experienced it - empathy aside. Having lived in multiple countries in Europe and now the US and travelled  around the world,  my take on race is coloured and defined by my own experiences, which are totally not unique in their occurrence but might just be, in their combination, as I am sure is yours. I have experienced overt racism in east Germany, covert racism in the UK and institutionalised racism in the US.

Paradoxically, I have also experienced some positives of being a black man in the world (I got my share of free drinks and female looks for being black, properly dressed and marginally well-spoken!)  Thing is, if you could speak good English, appeared a little confident and well-dressed, you had to be an African-American from New York, Philly or California - the youth in Europe (particularly Eastern Europe, couldn't tell the difference otherwise, and seem enamored with the novelty of  blackness ( in regions which had not been that exposed) and the idea of African-American culture (Hip-hop music,videos, culture, and sports heroes sure have done black people a world of good around world. I personally owe a certain measure of gratitude for that).

What you couldn't possibly be to them however, was a young man from Africa (not with all the hunger and disease infestation from that country - Africa! Plus, 'how did you get the money for a flight, to leave your tree houses and famine? And you speak English too?  Nah, definitely from Detroit!'). I quickly realised that your racism experience differs, depending on the perceived origin of your 'black', and unfortunately, Africans are at the lowest rung of that 'blackness' scale.Overt racism, which is rampant in pockets all over Europe makes the African position on that rung painfully obvious in the insults, injurious assaults, profiling and harassment you have to endure as a black person in some parts of Europe. Interestingly, you get treated with much more respect if, and when you are mistaken to be African American - go figure!

In some ways, these kinds of experiences were more tolerable to me. It was in your face. You know it, you can name and identify it, and you can locate it. You know the places not to go to avoid skin heads and racist nationalists; the neighborhoods and bars you only visit in a group;  what documents you need to have on you to thwart racist law enforcement. You figure out the survival tactics you can use to varying levels of success; speak impeccable English, fake an African American accent (sometimes to some honestly hilarious results), project more confidence and outrage than you really have, etc. Do this and you just might get away from tricky racist situations  - In other words, be 'American brash',( or just use the tried and tested 'I am an African prince' fallback, if all else fails). Essentially, because the fabric of that society refuses to lie to you about their racism, one does not develop a false sense of security and expectations. You know how far you can go, and how high you can climb; you take the rewards you can get and develop the skills and coping mechanism necessary to live productively therein. Without any promises of equality or 'land of the free' monikers, the racism - though equally abhorrent- is in fact  more tolerable.

 In most other parts of the world, as a black man, you might get beaten up by skin heads and have police harass you, but more often than not, you don't end up dead for 'driving while black'. Of all the places I have been to and lived in, nowhere is there a more complicated and combustible racial landscape like the USA, where an already complicated topic like race is mixed up with slavery, institutionalised racism, unfair criminal justice practices etc just to name a few. All this, mixed in the cauldron of the careless availability of lethal weapons and a controversial constitutional amendment to boot. Racism in America turns out to be a completely different animal... A minefield for any N4A who ventures on its shores.. This I will attempt to elucidate when next I muse...  To Be Continued.

SoP @ 330000ft.

The Afro-evangelist I No Longer Am!

My thought evolution about being black and African has taken quite a ride. I have always been a proud African, not much of a patriot of my country, and a firm believer in following your dreams, no matter where it takes you. By traveling away from my home, I have learned the value of what I call the 'other perspective', and a deeper appreciation  for who/where/what I am, It has increased the respect I have for all those who had to venture far away from what they call home, to make a living. Refugees, immigrants etc.

Surprisingly however, I have come to love my motherland more now than I ever did before, even though I work and live on shores which are far more advanced and with so much more opportunity. I suppose I can ascribe that to the classic cow not knowing the use of its tail till its cut off allegory. But in searching myself and discussing with others of like background, I have come to an appreciation that is not just nostalgia for home - There is something more to it, something deeper.
 Yes, I miss the food, and the community of people with similar values. And yes  I fully appreciate our cultural heritage and diversity because now I have a point of reference and can make more informed comparison with more  nations and peoples, other than from the perceptions I grew up with, watched on TV and read in books. As most people in the Diaspora will tell you, it is not all thornless roses on the other side of the lawn. There is more opportunity to make a living, but that living is typically a struggle day by day,with hand-to-mouth, bills and credit. There is of course the very tangible glass ceiling of opportunity, belonging and ambition that almost always lingers as a foreigner, no matter how many times you tote the flag and sing the  Star Sprangled Banner - Our accents and allegiance might change, but our essence remains.

I have finally come to the conclusion that 'Love for Land' is a real thing. This is what makes  Americans fight in wars all over the world, and what makes Britons die for Queen and country. It is the idea, the 'urge and itch' of Belonging and Knowing. Of affirming and coveting that unique set of values and memories that make your part of the world unique. Of feeling like you own a stake in this country/region,  no matter what its  status quo may be, and most times, in spite of the aptitude of the governments in charge, It is the realisation that no matter your achievements anywhere else in life, moving the needle or making any difference whatsoever, in any small way back home comes with an unparalleled sense of fulfilment, unlike anything else you might feel or achieved. An 'ache' to make something happen, or to improve the odds for those of your kin. It might be a need to implement things you have seen from the 'other perspective' you now inhabit. Or just the realisation that your contributions and legacy to this world might have so much meaning when applied to where you come from due to the opportunity, promise and potential you see of, and from it.

However this manifests itself, its presence can hardly be denied. This realisation led me to want to evangelise about this deeper feeling and meaning of being an African, a Cameroonian. To make all Africans in the diaspora see what I see and be proud of their Africanness, while rising to the challenges, creating new paradigms and challenging the prevalent stereotypes. My purpose for a long while had been to make others 'catch the fire', and be released from the 'whitewashing' mentality of the western world being the only 'IT' place; hoping they could bring to their homeland, what they have come to appreciate and love in the present stations. I was moved to pontificate about the duty to 'Do Something'. It gave me a new zeal to persuasively preach about our Home, Our motherland - Mboa-su! .

That 'all or nothing' approach has gotten me into heated arguments, disagreements and obscured the real essence to my message with not only friends, and acquaintances from all over Africa, but also people back home who thought it a little condescending of sorts. The intention might have be good, but the execution of the rallying call was sorely lacking in empathy and perspective. 

The learnings of that 'John the Baptist' phase in my life have left me with a few learnings, some of the more recurrent ones being that - Not everyone feels the way I do. The aspirations they had for themselves is what they have fully attained, and that is good enough for them. The opportunity to do, and be compensated for one's work, while provide for family and loved ones, trumps the motivations of identity and heritage, however noble. In other words - they have arrived! I still do not share this worldview from fellow immigrants and  Africans in particular, but I have come to make my peace with it.

 Secondly, some people rightfully think they owe their homelands nothing, given how much it took away from them. Lack of opportunity, wars, strife, persecution etc. And that hurt which still lingers, determines their outlook as much as any achievements they might have, or goodwill they might harbour for where they come from. This I empathize with, as I too hold no admiration for my nation's government,leaders, or feel I owe them anything.

However, what stood our to me is that no matter what most people might feel about topic, that feeling of attachment, belonging and heritage to 'Home' never fully goes away, no matter your sentiments towards the nation that houses Home. It is typically just diminished enough to obviate the need for any kind of spur to action. More importantly, I accepted the fact that no one preached me into it - I felt the urge or itch, re-connected and that left in me the burning need to do something for Home. 

So an evangelist in words I ceased to be. And an evangelist in action I have now become. My fulfilment maybe tied to the debt  I feel for home, but my identity isn't. With my present understanding, has come the clarity that not everyone has to be a doer, nor is every immigrant needed in achieving the potential that Home has, as those that are needed will react - 'the world will unfold as it should!', says the "Desiderata'. It is said that action speaks louder than words and that I have come to agree with completely. I am happy that in my evangelistic stage, I did help change some minds, but I am almost certain that if I just do my part, however small it is, I'll make more noise and turn more heads than I ever could, preaching from the mountaintop. Besides, even Jesus had to heal the blind and build tents - what more then, from a mere mortal like myself ?

SoP
From 10Km on high.
15/1/16