... I'm in church, (disclaimer: I'm a Christian). We are ringing praise and worshipping God as we do every week , and as we have been led to do for a very long time. Then the worship leader puts up a song slide, and the pictorial on the slide is disconcerting to me - it's a black God in clouds looking down with his muscular arms and black flowing beard. His splendid red garment flows with majesty and he looks really 'God-like'. Problem is, I'm snapped out of my worship mode... I can't seem to worship anymore, but look at the picture!? I soon enough realise the reason- the God in my head and my imaginations is different from the one the picture is presenting to me, and somehow my subconscious is taking notice- cognitive dissonance or something of the sort - the God I've been led to worship and praise; the God I see everywhere and everyday - in books, Bibles, movies, stories as a child etc, is White! More particularly, White-caucasian, not middle eastern or northern African! No, just white!
SoP - February 2015.
Do this small experiment with me; close your eyes... Now think of God the father - not Jesus. Who do u see? Now try imagining him in a different hue. Not much luck I guess .
I've always known and felt this influence of white over black all around me in the signs and symbols used everywhere - purity in white over black sin , black devil and white-light God and angels. I understand how that has coloured a lot of our worlds' ( and my) perception of blackness. I just never realized how it had affected me even in the most intimate and decidedly personal moments like worshipping God.
I don't know what to do with this anymore. I find myself trying to imagine a black or brown God now, every time I try to worship . This is getting quite distracting.,. I wish for the days gone by when I was less conflicted ; when I could worship my God the white man without second guessing which image of him is appropriate and why I couldn't imagine him black or brown. I'm conflicted. I know it shouldn't matter what colour God is, and His presence is all encompassing, and the only thing I need, but I have an active imagination!.
I'm not throwing any blame at history - it is what it is; I'm worried this same thing might be happening to many other people and limiting their experience of God. I'm worried new Christians and younger minds will get to where I am and be unable to manage the conflict between God imagery that look more like like Bob Marley than Micheal Bolton.
I hope it doesn't make them question their faith- I'm not questioning my mine either; I'm just afraid that other people will react differently to this than I do.
I pray your worship stays even if your images conflict .
I have come to realise that my issue is not even the fact that my God is white ; it is that every other imagination of him in a different colour feels inappropriate.!
I need suggestions ... I want my worship back.
SoP - February 2015.
